


Peace

by BlueJay26



Series: Poetry and Birds [5]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Andrew Falls For Neil Again, As you do, Boys In Love, Fluff, Introspection, M/M, Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard in Love, POV Andrew Minyard, Soft Andrew Minyard, Stargazing, The Void, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i still dont know how to tag, theyre in love your honor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:49:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29431248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueJay26/pseuds/BlueJay26
Summary: Andrew realises night drives don't have to be saved for Bad Days.
Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard
Series: Poetry and Birds [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1888687
Kudos: 77





	Peace

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by Red by Taylor Swift. I also made a playlist for this fic, but I have no clue how to link it. If you wanna listen, I'll figure out how to link it :)

It’s not a bad day. In fact, it's been an almost passable day. So Andrew doesn’t know why he wants to go on a drive. Normally those nights are reserved for bad days. It’s another change and Andrew doesn’t know how to react. He’s not used to doing things to feel nice; he’s used to doing things so he doesn’t break.

Neil follows happily enough when he jingles the keys at him. In the harsh streetlights, he looks more real than ever, and Andrew is reminded again that he can have this. He’s not happy tonight, happy isn’t the right word. He’s, Andrew considers, he’s unworried. Calm. Words he wouldn’t usually associate with himself. So why does he need a drive?

Neil smiles at him from behind two jackets and a pair of shoes he’s grabbed for Andrew. Andrew prefers to drive barefoot; the feel of the pedals beneath his feet is grounding. But if they want to get out and walk around, Andrew will need shoes. And Neil remembered that.

Once they’re on the road, Andrew offers his hand to Neil. He never refuses a chance to be close to Neil. Not on good days, or even passable ones. It’s dark, but they’re the only car on the road. Andrew told Neil living on the outskirts of town had its benefits when they were buying the house. Even better, it barely takes them an hour to get to large barren stretches of land.

Andrew has blankets in the boot for this very reason. Because sometimes neither of them are running from anything, and those days they find a field and act like everything's about them. _Stargazing,_ says Neil. _Looking out into the vast unknown,_ corrects Andrew. _Unknown gazing,_ amends Neil. He smiles, and Andrew feels like the night could be more than passable. Far more.

Out here, the lights are dimmer, the stars are brighter. Even at home, pollution from the city clouds the sky. Here, the main light comes from the stars. Sometimes from the Maserati’s headlights. Andrew finds it entrancing. How the yellow tints of night turn Neil’s hair a softer colour than the brilliant red Andrew associates with him. How the stillness calms both of them as they lie back and watch the stars. Watch each other.

Years ago, Andrew would have made a remark about how some of the stars were already dead, and that you couldn’t trust even nature. Now, he’s happy to memorise the feel of Neil’s hand in his, the way his eyes dart from the sky to Andrew’s every so often, the feeling of peace that comes with the stillness. It’s only here, in the open spaces that Andrew feels like maybe life isn’t all noise and torture. Like maybe if he and Neil try, they can escape everything and fall into space together. Like everything disappears and it’s just him, his car, and the man he wants to spend the rest of his life with.

Andrew wants to stay like this forever. They didn’t bring the notebook, and Andrew doesn’t have any poems bookmarked on his phone. They don’t need them tonight. Tonight they can lay in silence and not fear flashbacks. They don’t need to keep talking to drown out the ghosts of the past. Andrew never wants to leave.

If they leave, they go back to their house that feels too large for just the two of them. Everything feels too large after the Foxes. No house will be completely full if they aren’t there. Andrew, loathe as he is to admit it, found himself falling into a rhythm with them, and it _had_ been hard to leave it behind. He keeps those thoughts to himself; Neil has enough of his own on the same subject.

The sky is still the sky. No matter what happens, Andrew doesn’t think he’ll ever lose his pragmatism. He hopes he never does. He’ll always write Neil letters and mark special days on their calendars, but he will not set stock in constants like the sky. They are there, they are aesthetically pleasing, but he’d rather wax poetic about Neil.

At whom he’s been staring for the past ten minutes. Who’s smiling at the sky as if he’s stopping himself from saying _staring._ Andrew thinks if he could bottle feelings, he’d capture whatever the fuck is on Neil’s face right now. He brings their hands to his face, so he can kiss Neil without removing that expression from his face. It’s fond. Tender. Adoring. Affectionate. Warm. Everything Andrew never thought he’d have.

Andrew knows humans see in black-and-white at night, something about rods and cones, but he always sees so much more at night. If they were at home, he’d write Neil’s smile off as a smirk. One reserved for Andrew, but a smirk nonetheless. But here, lying on recently plowed soil, Andrew can see all the hidden emotions on Neil’s face. The way his scars don't quite hide the blush on his cheeks. The way his hair has gotten lighter from going swimming with Jeremy and Kevin. The way he’s fighting to keep his eyes on the sky so he doesn’t scare Andrew away. Not that he can anymore. Andrew faced that fear in college, when he realised his junkie was going to stick around.

Andrew accepts that the real world will always be painful, stark in contrast to nights like this. Which is why he treasures them when they happen, even if they are brought about by a bad day. Because he has Neil, whom he trusts, who trusts him. And so for a while, he can let himself exist. 

He’s always seen Neil as red. Andrew himself is a dull grey, washed out and faded. But Neil is bright, vibrant red. The kind of red that splatters itself across the sky every so often. The kind of red that sailors flinch away from. It’s not the red of blood, it’s the red of just-kissed lips, the red of the Maserati’s brake lights, the red of the goal lighting up when he scores. It isn’t entirely because of his hair; it’s his personality. His desire to survive, though that survival be meagre, has always painted itself in Andrew’s brain in shades of red. 

But on evenings like this, Neil softens to an orange. Not the fighting orange of the Foxes, that’s reserved for game nights, but the orange of a sunset. Of small kittens and old jumpers. That’s Neil’s colour on these nights, or when they spend evenings in the study, Andrew curled around Neil in the same armchair. That’s Neil’s colour when he forfeits his run to stay in bed and talk to Andrew. It’s Neil’s colour when he remembers Andrew’s favourite ice cream and blushes when Andrew calls him _darling_ and when he watches the stars so Andrew can watch him _._ And, Andrew thinks, it’s his brightest colour.

The red is noticeable, the red is wild. But the orange is Andrew’s and Andrew’s alone. Andrew, who has never had anything in his life that lasted more than a few years, loves the orange. Reminds himself that it is his and only his. That he doesn’t have to share. That Neil lets him have it willingly. Andrew loves the orange because it’s Neil and it’s him and it’s _them._ And that is why orange always shines brightest to Andrew.

The orange is a beacon to guide him home. And once he’s there, the orange is a soft blanket that envelopes him.

**Author's Note:**

>  _red sky at night, shepherd's delight, red sky at morning, sailor's warning_ is an old country saying that Andrew refers to because he's a nerd.
> 
> Also, I definitely recommend listening to Red, it's such an Andreil song.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! :)


End file.
